Though the story is about 15 hours old, it doesn't make it any less fun to talk about.
Chelsea left-back Ashley Cole was arrested after he drunkenly iinsulted police amid a fit about the paparazzi.
The unlikeable Cole spent just over three hours in custody and released this heartfelt statement today through the Blues' website.
However, I do want to make clear that I swore in frustration at the paparazzi's behaviour. I would never disrespect police officers in anyway. I take very seriously my responsibilities as a professional footballer, this includes keeping my body in the best condition. Although I had consumed some alcohol earlier in the evening on a night out with friends it had not been excessive. But I accept that the language I used on this occasion was wrong. I regret my actions and how it reflects on myself and Chelsea Football Club.
And the best part about it is that you know you can trust every single word that Cole says and we can all rest easy knowing that he's going to turn his life around after this unfortunate incident.
Oh wait, he didn't say that?
Oh well. It's still fun to think about him being locked up. Right?